Abusive childhood and feeling grey

christmas time is over but i still cannot forget about damages that she had even done in my life. Snatched away my things while she saw the sight of it and gave them away to other people. Used vulgarities to scold people. I do not like people to use vulgarities to scold people, as it does not sounded good at all.

Got a beating from her when I was not involved in the purchasing of certain items. Why cant she be more understanding to me? I had enough and had had enough. She is impatient too. I just hope she can dont use violence to solve those problems. Why she cannot read people’s mind? I do lack of security and I wont want to remain as a victim of verbal abuse.

I also cannot stand a guy who kept on teasing me non-stop, saying me and this guy A  and B are compatible and said so much rubbish to me especially, yet he can get student leader of the year award. He is indeed tactless. Luckily, my distant cousin does not know him, if not he will call him ‘fat pig’. Even I told him my grandma had passed away and I could not help him out for some events, yet he laughed at me and did not understand why till I emailed him about my grandma. It is not I am petty or something. But I just simply feel that why people like to do this kind of thing to me. I enjoy serious games as they are much better for my brain juices than musical chairs.

A leader does not behave himself properly, will make quite a lot of people losing respect for him. I am not a person who will like people to joke about me as I am a very serious person and I do not like matchmaking at all. Told him so many many times yet he doesnt get it. It’s Mainly because of parent’s failed marriage and the abusive childhood.

Gossiping about people do harm and it is not a good thing to do. It is only done by those people who had nothing better to do. I rather watch tv and talk about tv. Sometimes, entertainment news can be educating news or wake-up calls on health issues. Their life are much worse than us as they had very little resting time if they are very famous.

Some people said I do not smile. I had explained I have protuding teeth and I have no money to put braces. Braces are so expensive and my family cannot even afford. Protuding teeth makes my upper lip to look more sad. Just hope people will understand the reason behind it.

Even if I am not happy with my current job, what can I do? I wont want to stay on and be bullied or my life to be manipulated by those people. there are so many secrets I do not know happening in my workplace. My life is worse if I choose to remain there. It is so tired of seeing such sights in my life.

Get scolding for nothing. Get a punch when I am doing my job. Get molested when they refused to cooperate with me when I talked to them nicely. I know the world is like that but will someone let me see the light, bright light, bright future?

The sky is getting greyer and gloomy. It is like downcast. I do not like to be accused of something. I felt very sad when people do not get to see the whole picture. Thus, I had no choice but to leave this place. Leaving is not avoidance. I am not avoiding but I just cannot accept this fate. Lack of opportunities given to me. I want to do more than I could.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s